Rebuilding Confidence

Image: Eye for Ebony

Burna Boy and Elsa Majimbo have one thing in common- no shame! This quality has propelled them to great heights in their respective careers. They know they are damn good and walk in that light, while delivering on their word and it’s nothing short of admirable and inspirational in my opinion.

I read a tweet a while ago that said “We don’t build confidence, we are born with it” and have since pondered on it because it resonated with where I am currently. Imagine I had stayed as confident as I was at 19. Imagine you did not downplay your skills and competencies when you introduced yourself? Imagine you didn’t cower when your friends shone a light on your strengths and simply rode on their coat tails? Remember that confidence you had when you danced for guests at parties? How freeing and blissful!

It’s not too late. Recognizing that you still have it within you is a great step to rebuild your former glory. Sometimes it saddens my heart when my peers approach my outspoken nature with caution. As if something is gravely wrong with me for speaking and expressing my every thought so freely. Little do they know that this trait could take them so much further too!

I would be lying if I said my confidence hasn’t been tested over the years. It’s like as you grow older, a cloak of fear is placed upon your shoulder and is fastened with every internalised mean comment or seemingly shameful experience we encounter. I blame the aggressive primary and high school teachers who used every opportunity to beat the crap out of boldness in us. However, I am glad I did not give in. I am glad I did not conform to their ill ways of instilling misguided humility within me.

You must’ve realised by now that your lack of confidence has caused you to miss out on life changing opportunities. Who are you to say no to yourself? In spite of the rejections and judgement, continuously give yourself a chance. You’ve heard people say “Someone with zero qualifications is doing your dream job simply because they are confident”

Image: Sydney Rae

Lets change the narrative:

1. If you can shoulder the consequence of said action, just do it! This will require a little impulse because you don’t want to stare long enough for the picture to become ugly.
2. Read!!! I cannot emphasize enough how being knowledgeable has boosted my confidence. Books are a great inexpensive place to start from along with listening to likeminded people via podcast, documentaries and YouTube. Be careful not to over dilute your source though — don’t copy, learn.
3. Stay delusional. This is dangerous but what is life without risk? So what if your vision does not fit their reality? If your mind can visualize something, it can surely bring it to fruition. Staying delusional will equally ensure your unwavering focus and persistence.
4. No body knows for you. I say this all the time and I mean it. You do not know what it takes for me to show up every single day and that alone keeps me super confident. I know that regardless of the situation, I will always rise up therefore your opinions have little to add unless solicited.
5. Leave no room for negativity. As a recovering cynic, I have realised that since I started saying yes to myself and believing in possibilities, life has been smoother. Of course I am struggling occasionally but things are easier with a shifted perspective. I woke up one morning and said “I’m a damn good writer” and all the mental blocks dissolved. Regardless of the comments, I am good at this and will stay doing it!

Grab life by the lapel and say “I’m with you, Lets go!” and watch the glory unfold. Keep On Living🌻